Day 7 of training plan.

I'll just start of by saying that I have deliberately moved my training updates to this blog. So by clicking on the link you have chosen to pay an interest in how my training is going. I like to post on Facebook/Twitter. I am not showing off or massaging my ego. This acts as a training diary for me to record where I am at right now. I've chosen to share it.

 I like running, cycling and triathlon.

You can read it or ignore it. If you rather I just reshared stuff from Buzzfeed or viral videos from youtube etc then i'm the wrong friend. I have a lot of friends who have a common interest in my chosen sport. Also I know some people have been inspired by some of the stuff I've posted about. Anyway, you get my point.... Thank you, Love ya! xxxx BJP

For the first time EVER! I have started and maintained a training plan. I have been running and cycling for around 5 years now, but have never committed to a plan. I have decided that I would give the Jaffa 12 week plan a go, in the build up to Ipswich half marathon. So far so good.

Today I was scheduled for 5 mile easy running. I still struggle to know what my paces are. My slow pace is ridiculously slow when compared to my race pace. I knew I wanted to be around the 10 minute miling. I also made sure the route I was running was quite flat. Yesterday, my 7 mile "Easy" run included park run and the run up to the park was a steady incline. Then the run afterward up to my work includes quite steep sections. All in all, I was struggling with my knees at work. I was not sure how they would feel today. But they were fine. A little sore at the start thats all. Garmin Data here.

Tomorrow is 12 x 400 meter intervals. But I have an appointment with the Physio in the morning to assess my knee pain. See what happens tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.

Brains... brains....BRAINS!

Over the last few months I have been having CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as a result of my cycling anxiety caused by a road accident in 2012. Initially I was not sure whether I wanted to have the treatment, but I am now glad I did.

I've been seeing a private psychologist at Nuffield Hospital, Ipswich. Thankfully this will be paid for through the insurers.

The advice I have recieved from my doctor has been fantastic. It has really opened my mind into how the brain works. For example. One of my bigger issues was being over sensitive, hyper aware of my position on the road. I would critically assess every single car that went past me. Too close. Too fast. Too aggressive. I would not ride too far from home. One of the tasks I was set was to focus on acknowledging the good drivers with the same enthusiasm as I would give to the bad drivers.... This worked for me. It highlighted to me that the majority of drivers were not trying to kill me. Obviously there are a lot of pricks out there. The ones who would rather use there car as a blocking device than let a cyclist get on his/her way. Heaven forbid their journey be delayed by 2 seconds.
Other psychological tools the doctor has given me, was at certain points during my ride, to acknowledge that I am safe. Doing this verbally or mentally at a junction in a road or just pulling over to the side of the road and take it in.

I know now that without the CBT sessions I would not be riding again. It was due to these sessions that I was able to go out on my first "real ride" on my road bike, since my wreck. This was a very significant turning point for me.

It has really made me happy that companies like The AA and Halfords have collaborated in a "Think Bikes" campaign. I have fitted the stickers to my car.... Because I do drive too.
I particularly liked the YouTube ad which came out too. Far better than the insensitive bollocks which Top Gear produced.

My brain is starting to heal and I have learned some new methods of dealing with my anxiety. One person's momentary lapse of judgement has cost me 2 years. I am not bitter. In fact I am thankful. Thankful to be alive and thankful that if just one person thinks more carefully about other road users (Not just cyclists) then the purpose of this post has been met.

Please read the articles I have linked in to this page.

http://road.cc/content/news/114228-family-dead-cyclist-release-hospital-photo-warning-drivers

http://road.cc/content/news/114288-video-australian-driver-hits-cyclist-behind

What's the rush pal???  

Return the joy please Doc.

This evening I will be going to see a psychologist for CBT. CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I am having this treatment because, it would seem that since being knocked off my bicycle in July 2012, I have developed some anxieties when it comes to riding my road bike.
My anxiety does not extend to all cycling. For instance, I can ride my single-speed bike and hybrid bike without many issues. It just tends to be around riding at speed, namely, training rides. My original psychological report suggested that I had a "Specific Phobia". More to do with an environment as opposed to an action. 
In the very few times I have been out for a ride, I have found myself being overly cautious and apprehensive when approaching junctions and busy roads. Even the quiet roads I find myself processing what may or may not happen. Is that car reversing out on to the road? Has that driver seen me? These thoughts are on a permanent loop in my mind. Thus taking away the joy I used to get from cycling. As the year has gone on, I find myself making more excuses to not go out for a ride. Lying to myself like a politician. "Well! It's not that I don't want to ride, its just in the current climate I dont think its advisable!"
Prior to the accident, many a Sunday morning would come and I would head out to the coast and back before work. Me time. Ride time. 
I don't usually cycle in groups or with a club. Thats just the way I am. I love the freedom of being able to go where I wanted and being able to stop or sprint when I wanted. I just want those joys back!

I'll update this after my visit to the Doctor. Stay tuned.

Legacy of a wreck.

July 8th 2012, at around 7.15 pm I was knocked of my road bike while out training for forthcoming triathlons. Over a year on and my bike has been restored to a ride worthy state. New forks, wheels, brakes, shifters, cables, bottle cages and handle bars. The bike is totally ready for action. I have even lent it to a close friend for her to use during her own first ever Triathlon. Problem is..... am I ready?

The 12th of July was a long time ago. So what's wrong?

I recently went for a psychological evaluation for part of my insurance/compensation claim. I have since received a copy of the doctor's report. It made for some very interesting reading. Some people have asked me if I "hammed it up" for the session with the doctor? I can tell you now. There is no way a reasonable person would be able to pull anything over the eyes of these trained professionals. The report was as much about my body language, eye contact and attitude, than anything else. He was very thorough in his questioning, bringing up some things from my medical records which caught me of guard. For example.

Pretty funny eh? As you can imagine. This took me by surprise BIG TIME! Apparently this was to see if I had any underlying anger management issues.... I don't.... I DON'T!!!!! ;-)

I  was also asked about my emotional state. I have always been more on the positive side. I mean I am very thankful that I didn't get seriously injured or worse. I have not had any real breakdowns. The closest i've come to "losing it" was the first time I saw this video to the Rudimental track- Waiting all night. It's opening sequence includes footage of a bike accident. The guy was a bit of a plum but no one deserves that.....

So what's wrong again? It turns out I have developed a form of Specific Phobia which is related to riding my road bike. I can ride my single speed (fixie), my hybrid and my commuter bikes, but I have issues with riding my race bike at pace. I have tried using it to ride to work, but I am still very nervous. I also seem to make excuses to avoid going riding. Too hot, too cold, looks like rain and there may be ice out. I can't pretend to understand this fully. I just know that my fear is irrational and unfounded. 

I hope to get back to it soon... tomorrow?