2 years on!

Post by Brian Powlett.

Brains... brains....BRAINS!

Over the last few months I have been having CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as a result of my cycling anxiety caused by a road accident in 2012. Initially I was not sure whether I wanted to have the treatment, but I am now glad I did.

I've been seeing a private psychologist at Nuffield Hospital, Ipswich. Thankfully this will be paid for through the insurers.

The advice I have recieved from my doctor has been fantastic. It has really opened my mind into how the brain works. For example. One of my bigger issues was being over sensitive, hyper aware of my position on the road. I would critically assess every single car that went past me. Too close. Too fast. Too aggressive. I would not ride too far from home. One of the tasks I was set was to focus on acknowledging the good drivers with the same enthusiasm as I would give to the bad drivers.... This worked for me. It highlighted to me that the majority of drivers were not trying to kill me. Obviously there are a lot of pricks out there. The ones who would rather use there car as a blocking device than let a cyclist get on his/her way. Heaven forbid their journey be delayed by 2 seconds.
Other psychological tools the doctor has given me, was at certain points during my ride, to acknowledge that I am safe. Doing this verbally or mentally at a junction in a road or just pulling over to the side of the road and take it in.

I know now that without the CBT sessions I would not be riding again. It was due to these sessions that I was able to go out on my first "real ride" on my road bike, since my wreck. This was a very significant turning point for me.

It has really made me happy that companies like The AA and Halfords have collaborated in a "Think Bikes" campaign. I have fitted the stickers to my car.... Because I do drive too.
I particularly liked the YouTube ad which came out too. Far better than the insensitive bollocks which Top Gear produced.

My brain is starting to heal and I have learned some new methods of dealing with my anxiety. One person's momentary lapse of judgement has cost me 2 years. I am not bitter. In fact I am thankful. Thankful to be alive and thankful that if just one person thinks more carefully about other road users (Not just cyclists) then the purpose of this post has been met.

Please read the articles I have linked in to this page.

http://road.cc/content/news/114228-family-dead-cyclist-release-hospital-photo-warning-drivers

http://road.cc/content/news/114288-video-australian-driver-hits-cyclist-behind

What's the rush pal???  

Return the joy please Doc.

This evening I will be going to see a psychologist for CBT. CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. I am having this treatment because, it would seem that since being knocked off my bicycle in July 2012, I have developed some anxieties when it comes to riding my road bike.
My anxiety does not extend to all cycling. For instance, I can ride my single-speed bike and hybrid bike without many issues. It just tends to be around riding at speed, namely, training rides. My original psychological report suggested that I had a "Specific Phobia". More to do with an environment as opposed to an action. 
In the very few times I have been out for a ride, I have found myself being overly cautious and apprehensive when approaching junctions and busy roads. Even the quiet roads I find myself processing what may or may not happen. Is that car reversing out on to the road? Has that driver seen me? These thoughts are on a permanent loop in my mind. Thus taking away the joy I used to get from cycling. As the year has gone on, I find myself making more excuses to not go out for a ride. Lying to myself like a politician. "Well! It's not that I don't want to ride, its just in the current climate I dont think its advisable!"
Prior to the accident, many a Sunday morning would come and I would head out to the coast and back before work. Me time. Ride time. 
I don't usually cycle in groups or with a club. Thats just the way I am. I love the freedom of being able to go where I wanted and being able to stop or sprint when I wanted. I just want those joys back!

I'll update this after my visit to the Doctor. Stay tuned.

The price of injury

Went to the doctors today. This was so they could check and evaluate my injuries from my accident in July. Took longer than I anticipated but hopefully will be worth while. Have been told  that the scars will remain and not fade much more due to the nature of the cuts.
The injuries have all but healed. The scars still itch like a bastard. My knees only give me discomfort when squatting. I think most of the damage is psychological. I still am quite nervous on the road when cycling and my confidence has been smashed. Really not sure how I will react if I ever get back on the saddle.

Still just hanging there in my garage the "Dirty Bike Carcass"

Next step is to wait and see what/how much the solicitor recommends putting in a claim for. Then we wait.
Still unsure what to do with any compensation too. The option of getting a new bike is nice but the second option of investing in a new business opportunity for 2013 also appeals.
Guess I will have to wait and see.  

Still alive but...

It's been 4 weeks since I was knocked off my bicycle during a training ride. The wounds have all healed, but the scars remain. Still no bike, no running or any swimming. The knees have been pretty messed up since the wreck. Getting very sore after an hour on my feet. The weight is going up, morale is going down.
I have had to pull out of the rest of this season's races too. So no vitruvian triathlon for me now.
I was thinking about heading out for a gentle run-walk today. Will have to see how that works out and if the knees can take it.
Be safe out there. Wear a helmet when cycling. And drivers... Don't take chances with cyclists, I'm sure you can wait that extra 5 seconds to pass, overtake or turn across.